fear is not a gentleman

i scramble through muddy grass,
trying my hardest not to slip and fall.
i can barely see through the gloom –
heavy clouds obscure the moon,
and rain pours down in
slick silver sheets.
i’m all bruised fingers and scraped knees;
hot tears drip down my cheeks
as i continue my frantic search.
i wish i could pretend you never existed,
but that’s impossible now.
you are the dread coursing through my veins,
the chill that runs up my spine
on a warm summer night.
you are what keeps me trapped in darkness,
impossibly lost in the maze
of a city i’ve lived in all my life.
maybe in a few years,
i will feel the bliss of moving on.
but by then you will return
in the form of another stranger,
and i will lose my equilibrium once again.