playlist: chasing dreams

a playlist channeling spring vibes and restless optimism.

these songs encapsulate the happiness, fear, and excitement i’m currently cycling through as my classmates and i prepare for our last flurry of exams right before graduation, as my friends fly all over the country to visit their prospective colleges, and as we make plans for get-togethers and traveling once summer begins. this is a soundtrack for chasing dreams; this is a soundtrack for new beginnings before we even reach the end.

PLAYLIST: CHASING DREAMS
summer // joe hisaishi
with you // tennyson
sunsoaked (ft. salsa) // adib sin
carmen fantasy // sarasate
cosmos // aquamarine
rosen aus dem süden // strauss ii
psychopath // st. vincent
my tamako, my sookee // jo yeong-wook
another day of sun // justin hurwitz

i hope you have a lovely day. ☼

joanna

You walk down a gently sloping hill towards a field. The sun turns dusty, waist-high grass into gold. Joanna’s singing is unpolished and lovely, leading you forward as if she’s taken you by the arm. Her songs are full of strings. You can’t separate harp from harpist – her voice swings and creaks, studded with notes plucked by deft fingers. Somewhere in the distance, an orchestra swells like the tide.

When you’d first heard her you were startled by how childlike Joanna had sounded, but you know better now. She may sing sweetly, and animals may populate her songs, but her voice belies her wisdom.

One moment you watch a bird fly across a breathy sky – the next, an angel flaps its wings. The universe looms, and you suddenly face the staggering weight of the stars. All the while, Joanna’s harp sings; her voice scratches out high notes.

She offers you one story, a second, a fifth. Hens and horses and lions flicker in and out, half-hidden in the grass and entranced by the light. You could never resist her poetry.

You let her lift you out of your loss and offer you hers in solidarity. Her verses struggle to contain the chaos of life and light and allusion within them, and the music expands to fill the gaping hole between your bones.

Each story bleeds into the next like water. The river she conjures runs against time’s gradient while Joanna’s voice surges and cracks with raw emotion. Ursula splashes her way into the night sky. Ocean waves yawn for a moment, and you glimpse the beautiful remains of a sunken city. You imagine sprawling buildings and solid stone ramparts, marble columns that withstood sea currents and bridges that held fast no matter how much they swung and creaked underwater.

Joanna’s music rings in your ears. It’s steeped in sunshine from above the water’s surface, but you know, deep down, that its light is meant to swallow grief.

Closing your eyes, you remember walking towards a field of dusty gold. As words fail you, a harp sings and creaks and pulls you close, wrapping you with warmth.

~
(more…)

playlist: garden of poe(tree)

good afternoon, loves! as you might guess from the title, i’ve started a new category (series?) on CITRUSY. this particular post combines two of my favorite things: playlists and poetry.

some people have podcasts, and others have mix tapes. i have playlists.
i use youtube 95% of the time (the other 5% goes to google play music), and i have youtube playlists for everything – years’ worth of soundtracks evoking my highest & lowest points, my moods during autumn or rainy spring days, my nanowrimo novels, every year of high school, and so on. i have music playlists for books i love and for cross country practices, for my favorite composers & musicians and for the days when everything is just a little off. i even have a playlist for college applications (the first song of which is the original pokémon theme song). i feel like i’m creating a new playlist at least once a week.

playlists are a lot like poetry in that they’re able to express feelings i can’t vocalize or only understand intuitively. speaking of poetry – poetry has been one of the few things keeping me together for the past month or so, throwing me a life-line made of carefully structured syntax, raw emotion, and beautiful, sometimes irreverent words. i love how in poetry, every word matters. there’s no bullshit, no filler lines. i love how there are no real rules in poetry, that the guidelines set in place can always be broken.

today, i wanted to share what i listen to when i’m writing and reading poetry, which seems to be all i do in my free time these days.

PLAYLIST: POE(TREE)
1) “je te veux (soprano)” – erik satie
2)「ひこうき雲」 – yumi matsutoya
3) “mr.sandman” – 바버렛츠
4)「完全感覚Dreamer」- one ok rock
5) “l’autre valse d’amélie” – yann tiersen
6) “owarase night” – frederic

to end this post, here’s the opening stanza of arthur o’shaughnessy’s “ode”:

we are the music-makers,
and we are the dreamers of dreams,
wandering by lone sea-breakers,
and sitting by desolate streams;
world-losers and world-forsakers,
on whom the pale moon gleams:
yet we are the movers and shakers
of the world for ever, it seems.

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you find the book quite early one morning and laugh at bad puns. too many too little, not enough time, thyme, a clockwork garden, a hot summer’s day with the water shut off and broccoli dying under the sun. environmentalism, what is. what is not is the brief hope that this will last a while longer because this is finite, unstoppable, because now is the time to throw words out and bring colors in. this is when hyphenations like ‘sun-kissed’ and ‘sun-drenched’ and ‘sun-strained’ come to mind, when air grows cool and trees shed seas of flaming leaves at the end of january. every other sentence is a lie, with the rest lifted from a stale repetitive repository. remember bridges. step into the courtyard, careful not to trip over the ledge where your grandfather broke his leg and his heart. everything is stone. cold: the fishes quiver. a motorcycle last used in 2005. remember to keep your chin up when you swim through a rainwatered living room. remember fruit candies, beaded numbers. remember not to cry when the smell of urine hits like starvation. everywhere is water. compared to others, your book tastes like viciously luscious cake. the architecture is the same; so are those tears. sight, a privilege, wanders permanently when lost. someone breaks open a guitar and takes the sounds inside. dancing ensues.
(eventually you’ll learn to love these floating faces. you’ll learn to love your dreams.)

the knight: a triolet

The tones of the piano sound so sweet
as the gallant pianist commands the keys.
While his fingers dance and flicker and fleet
the tones of the piano sound so sweet.
As he tames the wild rhythms and beat
there’s weeping among the fine ladies and trees.
The tones of the piano sound so sweet
as the gallant pianist commands the keys.

janowrimo

november is my favorite month of the year. can you guess why?

yep.

nanowrimo. it is the only month that i’m motivated enough to rush-write a novel (and spend the other eleven months editing it).

i recently fell into a writing slump (because of life problems and all that), which is the main reason why i started this blog…so i apologize for the low quality posts i’ve written so far. i just feel so tired; i wish i could just lay on the floor and sleep for three years, you know? though that’s impossible right now…

ANYWAY. i’ve decided to do nanowrimo this month, and hopefully climb out of this hole i’m in. six days late (and counting) – hurrah!

the rest of this month’s posts will consist of updates regarding janowrimo. i spent quite a bit of time this winter break outlining this project of mine, and i’ve decided to move to the next step. why wait till november?

is anyone else doing this? if so, message me. we can talk! about! writing! 😀 and maybe boost morale.

oh, and here’s some music. just, if you’re in the mood for piano. yeah.

-ktc